I can't be dead! I'm only 17!
Agony claws my mind. I am a statistic. When I first got here I
felt very much alone. I was overwhelmed with grief, and I expected
to find sympathy.
I found no sympathy. I saw only thousands of others
whose bodies were as badly mangled as mine. I was given a number
and placed in a category. The category was called 'Traffic Fatalities'.
The day I died was an ordinary school day. How I
wish I had taken the bus! But I was too cool for the bus. I remember
how I wheedled the car out fo Mom. 'Special favor,' I pleaded.
'All the kids drive'. When the 2:50 bell rang, I threw my books
in the locker. I was free until 8:40 tomorrow morning! I ran to
the parking lot - excited at the thought of driving a car and
being my own boss. Free!
It doesn't matter how the accident happened. I
was goofing off - going too fast. Taking crazy chances. But I
was enjoying my freedom and having fun. The last thing I remember
was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I
heard a deafening crash and felt a terrific jolt. Glass and steed
flew everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning inside out.
I heard myself scream.
Suddenly, I awakened. It was very quiet. A police
officer was standing over me. Then I saw a doctor. My body was
mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were
sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything.
Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head! I can't be dead! I'm
only 17 I've got a date tonight! I'm suppose to grow up and have
a wonderful life! I haven't lived yet! I can't be dead!
Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks had to
identify me. Why did they have to see me like this? Why die! I
have to look at Mom's eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal
of her life? Dad suddenly looked like an old man. He told the
man in charge, 'Yes - he is our son'.
The funeral was a weird experience. I saw all my
relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They passed by,
one by one, and looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen.
Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched my
hand and sobbed as they walked away.
Please - somebody - wake me up! Get me out of here.
I can't bear to see Mom and Dad so broken up. My grandparents
are so wracked with grief they can barely walk. My brother and
sister are like zombies. They move like robots. In a daze. Everybody.
No one can believe this, and I can't believe it either.
Please, don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a lot
of living to do! I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing
and dance. Please don't put me in the ground. I promise if you
give me just one more chance, I'll be the most careful driver
in the whole world. All I want is one more chance. Please, I'm
only 17.